When I graduated from college in 2005 with a double major in behavioral science and marketing management, my future lay ahead of me. My supportive parents told me that I could be anything I wanted to be. I knew exactly what I wanted to become as soon I stepped out of PICC wearing my toga. As early as then, I wanted to become the head of a multinational corporation. I knew I had to work my way up, and I was ready to do so. Or so I thought.
I handed out my resume both physically and virtually to a number of large companies but was rejected multiple times. I wanted a career in human resources, but the big corporations were looking for experience. So, I stepped back and joined a mid-sized international organization that gave this eager kid a chance. It was a great place to start and learn the ropes, and I moved up the ranks more quickly than most. The company had a very good culture, but I wanted more. You could say I was greedy, and the size and name of the company mattered to me. After earning a couple of years of HR experience, I took a shot again at the big multinationals.
This time, I got into one of the biggest outsourcing companies in the country. With a Philippine workforce of 30,000 at the time, it was as big as it gets. I had to start a few levels lower than the last position had at my previous employer, but I didn’t mind. The targets were miles away from what I was used to, and the work was ten times more. Work hours were hellish, and the workload was too much to handle.
But I was determined. I worked for almost twelve to fourteen hours every day without receiving overtime pay and went to the office, even on Saturdays, just to finish work. The environment was toxic, and workplace politics was rampant. I neglected all these issues even though I shouldn’t have had. I was dead set on reaching my goals. I wanted to become a manager and run my own team at all costs. So, I said yes to everything my supervisors and managers told me to do, and my mentors gave me no advice. They never checked how I was doing, how I felt, or if I was happy. I just did what I had been told to do without complaining. My superiors liked me because I obeyed without asking why.
I climbed the corporate ladder and became a supervisor myself. With my team, I did what my supervisors had done with me. I expected my direct reports to work the way I used to work. I never asked how they were or if they were all right. I pushed and pushed to reach our targets. Then, one day, it happened. I burned out. I was so stressed and tired, and without any hesitation or a new job, I resigned.
After I left that company, I had idle time for the first time in my life. I had a chance to clear my head and think. I wasn’t young anymore. I asked myself, was the hardship all worth it? I also asked myself, had I given my team members the support they needed? What kind of a manager had I become? Had hitting the KPIs given to me become more important than my team’s physical and mental well-being?
It hit me then and there that I had been able to achieve what I had wanted, where I wanted, but I was not happy. In fact, I was miserable. I was on top, but everyone under me suffered. I was part of a sad corporate cycle that had a poor culture and cared only about profits. To be continued.
The author is an MBA freshman at the Ramon V. Del Rosario College of Business of De La Salle University. He wrote this reflection paper for his class on Lasallian Business Leadership, Ethics, and Corporate Social Responsibility. He can be reached at [email protected].
The views expressed above are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the official position of DLSU, its faculty, and its administrators.