“We must remember that it is not our choices that make us who we are. Our responses to their consequences do.”
Many believe that a solo parent is someone whose marriage is nullified, and who decides to have a child without a spouse or a partner; or someone who, being single, decides to adopt a child. It is unfortunate that some people look at solo parents condescendingly when they should be given support by their families and the society.
For the longest time, families had quietly borne the fate of having a daughter giving birth outside of wedlock. Some of the more affluent ones would bring their daughters abroad to give birth and later return to the Philippines, to be as a newborn child and the sister of their daughter. Other parents have legally adopted their illegitimate grandchildren.
Times may have changed and people became bolder, but society has not completely changed their outlook towards solo parents. It is interesting to know that the Solo Parents Welfare Act of 2000 (SPWA) provided solo parents with provisions against work discrimination, parental leave, educational benefits, housing benefits, and medical assistance (Republic Act 8972). Further benefits may be added if the law is eventually amended.
Under the SPWA, the term “solo parent” refers to the following: (a) woman who gives birth as a result of rape and other crimes against chastity even without a final conviction of the offender; or (b) those left solo or alone due to the death of his or her spouse, while the spouse is detained or is serving a sentence for a criminal conviction for at least one (1) year, or due to the physical and/or mental incapacity of the spouse as certified by a public medical practitioner (Section 3(a)1 to 4).
It also includes those who were left solo or alone due to the following: (a) legal separation or de facto separation from a spouse for at least one (1) year; (b) declaration of nullity or annulment of marriage as decreed by a court or by a church, as long as he/she is entrusted with the custody of the children; or (c) abandonment of a spouse for at least one (1) year (Section 3(a) 5 to 7).
Solo parents may also fall under the following categories: (a) an unmarried mother or father who has preferred to keep and rear her or his child/children instead of having others care for them; (b) any other person who provides the sole parental care and support to a child or children; or (c) a family member who assumes the responsibility of being the head of family as a result of the death, abandonment, disappearance or prolonged absence of the parents or solo parent of the child (Section 3(a)8 to 10).
Solo parents shall have the rights and duties of the parents under Article 220 of the Family Code. They shall keep their children in their company; they shall support, educate and instruct them by right precept and good example, and provide for their upbringing in keeping with their means. They also have to give them love and affection, advice and counsel, and companionship and understanding.
It is their duty to provide their children with moral and spiritual guidance, to inculcate in them honesty, integrity, self-discipline, self-reliance, industry, and thrift; they must stimulate their interest in civic affairs, and inspire in them compliance with the duties of citizenship (Article 220, Family Code).
They must furnish them with good and wholesome educational materials, supervise their activities, recreation, and association with others, and protect them from bad company. Their duty extends to representing their children in all matters affecting their interests; and to demand from them respect and obedience; and to impose discipline on them as may be required under the circumstances (Article 220, Family Code).
It is the duty of the employer to provide a flexible working schedule for solo parents, as long as the employer’s productivity is not affected (Section 6). This is to allow a solo parent employee to vary his or her arrival and departure time without affecting the core work hours as required by the employer (Section 3[e]). However, the employer may be exempted by the Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE) on meritorious grounds (Section 6).
The employer shall not discriminate against any solo parent employee on account of his or her status (Section 7). Examples include not getting hired, receiving inappropriate comments, denying statutory employee benefits, terminating an employee, withholding favorable schedules, or striking down a promotion, all because the employee is a solo parent.
The solo parent who has rendered service of at least one (1) year of service, in addition to having leave privileges under existing laws, shall be given parental leave of not more than seven (7) working days every year (Section 8). The leave benefits are granted to enable the solo parent to perform his or her parental duties and responsibilities where physical presence is required (Section 3[d]).
A solo parent whose income is above the poverty threshold set by the National Economic and Development Authority (NEDA) shall enjoy the flexible working schedule, protection from discrimination in the workplace and parental leave. Additionally, solo parents whose income falls below the poverty threshold, shall be eligible for educational, housing and medical assistance, subject to the assessment of the DSWD worker in the area (Section 4).
Qualified solo parents and their children shall be provided with educational benefits by the Department of Education, Culture and Sports (DECS), the Commission on Higher Education (CHED), and the Technical Education and Skills Development Authority (TESDA), in the form of scholarships and non-formal education programs (Section 9).
They shall be given allocations in government low-cost housing projects and shall be provided with liberal terms of payment in accordance with housing law provisions, prioritizing applicants below the poverty line (Section 10). The Department of Health (DOH) is mandated to develop a comprehensive health care program for solo parents and their children (Section 11).
A comprehensive package of social development and welfare services for solo parents and their families shall be developed by the various government agencies, to be coordinated by the DSWD with local government units and nongovernmental organizations with proven track records in providing services to solo parents (Section 5).
The package includes livelihood development services, counseling services, parent effectiveness services, and critical incidence stress debriefing. The stress debriefing is intended to assist solo parents in coping with crisis situations and cases of abuse. It will also include providing temporary shelter, counseling, legal assistance, medical care, and ego-building, crisis management, and spiritual enrichment programs (Section 5[e]).
While these benefits and programs for solo parents and their children address some of their essential needs, it is more important for Philippine society to accept that solo parents strengthen the concept of Filipino family life as much as a “complete” family does, and therefore contribute to nation building. We must remember that it is not our choices that make us who we are, but our responses to their consequences.