"The consequences of childhood trauma are clear: it retards the child’s development and could cause them to become abusers themselves, because they perceive the use of violence to handle situations and crises as being normal."
"The consequences of childhood trauma are clear: it retards the child’s development and could cause them to become abusers themselves, because they perceive the use of violence to handle situations and crises as being normal."A man tied his four-year-old son upside down to the window bars of their house and, taking video all the while, hit at yelled at the child several times.
This took place in Sta. Rosa, Laguna. While many of us were on vacation, wrapping presents, or buying ingredients for the Noche Buena meal, a toddler was being tortured by his own father—all to force his mother to return to their home.
The couple had a misunderstanding on Dec. 13 which led the wife’s going to her family’s home in Iloilo. The husband sent the video to his wife on Christmas Day. In the video he can be heard asking the boy if he was happy with his mother’s departure, hitting him when he would not respond.
This is one of the worst instances of child abuse I have heard about. It is horribly similar to the videos of the Ateneo bullying, where the 14-year-old bully also took videos of himself beating up fellow students.
From whence comes this wave of violence? Researchers say that people who abuse children were often themselves abused when they were young, leading to a cycle of hurt and pain that only stops when mindfulness and the will to break the cycle are exerted.
The World Health Organization “distinguishes four types of child maltreatment: physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional and psychological abuse, and neglect… [while] ‘exposure to family violence’ is typically considered a form of emotional and psychological abuse” (Steven Roche, in a 2017 paper).
Family and child psychologist Dr Honey Carandang, speaking about bullying in a recent television interview, said that “Most of the time, it starts in the family… maybe they [parents] say certain things…. that are hurting the children and they are not aware they are doing it most of the time.”
On the cyclical nature of abuse, “Jackie” at Stopabusecampaign.org wrote in June this year: “There is abundant evidence that children who are being abused physically or emotionally (or both) are likely to bully their peers or develop anxiety and suicidal thoughts as well as drug or alcohol-related problems.
“According to a study conducted by researchers from both the University of Washington and Indiana University, children who are exposed to any form of violence at home often lack common coping mechanisms and engage in higher levels of physical and relational bullying than those who grow up in a stable, loving home.”
Child abuse in this country is so widespread and common that 8 out of 10 Filipino children have experienced it, according to the Council for the Welfare of Children and the United Nations Children’s Fund’s National Baseline Study on Violence against Children, the first national study on violence against children in the Philippines.
The study’s findings, released in April this year, showed that “thousands of children are robbed of their childhood and suffer lifelong developmental challenges as a result of violence.” Any form of violence, the study said, could result in trauma, and start and perpetuate a vicious cycle stemming from the mentality that using physical force is normal.
“Experiencing childhood or familial sexual violence and experiencing or being exposed to violence in the home increases the risk that children will use or experience violence against partners, peers and family members,” the study stated.
The consequences of childhood trauma are clear: it retards the child’s development and could cause them to become abusers themselves, because they perceive the use of violence to handle situations and crises as being normal.
This could be the reason why this father dealt with his son in such horrific fashion, objectifying his own child and using him as a tool to force his wife to do what he wants. Aggressive behavior does not exist in a vacuum. May pinagmulan, as we say—there is a root cause.
Eight out of ten children abused in the Philippines. One child harmed is one too many. This means that almost everyone you know, probably including yourself, has experienced some form of child abuse. I have.
But some of us were fortunate enough to have broken the cycle of violence through conscious effort, by mindfully going over our past hurts, finding out the causes, moving on and forgiving, and resolving to relate to others from a place of love and understanding rather than anger and hostility.
Others are not as privileged, and children keep on being harmed, and the cycle of abuse continues. May this video be a wake-up call that mindless violence is not the solution to problems, and that children need and deserve to be raised in a loving, and stable environment where they are free to fully develop and flourish in happiness and confidence.
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Dr. Ortuoste advocates zero tolerance against domestic and institutional violence. FB and Twitter: @DrJennyO