Dealing with bullies

" I wish someone in Malacañang has learned this most important lesson."

There is an ongoing debate on social media about a video showing an Ateneo de Manila high school student bullying another student. It appears like the bully, who represents the school in Tae Kwon Do competitions, was directing the videotaping of the incident as he seemed to speak with the one taking the video. There are also allegations that the same student has bullied other students in similar manner, and videos of these incidents also exist.

As expected, netizens are up in arms and are demanding that the bully be severely punished by the school, some calling for expulsion. There are even those who want the student to be subjected to the same abuse he inflicted on others. “Dapat makahanap ng katapat para tumigil,” said one. People want blood.

The Ateneo Junior High School Principal has since issued a statement that was immediately considered by many as too lame, and too safe. The statement called the bullying incident as depicting a fight among students even as the video clearly showed that the one being bullied was not fighting back.

The statement also said that school authorities are investigating the incident and has called for a stop to the indiscriminate posting of the video because of privacy issues. Unfortunately, the statement made no mention of a standing policy in preventing and addressing bullying. As a leading private school, Ateneo should have such a policy because this is required by law.

Passed in 2013, Republic Act. No. 10627 or the “An Act Requiring All Elementary and Secondary Schools to Adopt Policies to Prevent and Address the Acts of Bullying in their Institutions” defines Acts of Bullying as “any severe or repeated use by one or more students of a written, verbal, or electronic expression, or a physical act or gesture, or any combination thereof, directed at another student that has the effect of actually causing or placing the latter in reasonable fear of physical or emotional harm or damage to his property; creating a hostile environment at school for the other student; infringing on the rights of the other students at school; or materially and substantially disrupting the education process or he orderly operation of a school; such as, but not limited to, the following:

Any unwanted physical contact between the bully and the victim like punching, pushing, shoving, kicking, slapping, tickling, headlocks, inflicting school pranks, teasing, fighting, and the use of available objects as weapons;

Any act that causes damage to a victim’s psyche and/or emotional well-being;

Any slanderous statement or accusation that causes the victim undue emotional distress like directing foul language or profanity at the target, name-calling, tormenting and commenting negatively on victim’s looks, clothes, and body; and

Cyber-bullying or any bullying done through the use of technology or any electronic means.”

The abovementioned incident definitely falls under bullying and must be squarely and justly addressed by the school.

The law requires all elementary and secondary schools to adopt anti-bullying policies that prohibit bullying in school premises, areas adjacent to school, at school-sponsored-or-related activities even if done outside of the campus, or even in non-school-related activities and through the use of technology or electronic devise “if the act or acts in question create a hostile environment at school for the victim, infringe on the rights of the victim at school, or materially or substantially disrupt the education process or the orderly operation of a school”.

Such policies, the law says, should include educating students, parents, and guardians about the dynamics of bullying so the latter can provide support for and reinforce the policies. Moreover, these anti-bullying policies should be made known to all students, parents and guardians and should form part of the student and/or employee handbook.

Further, the law includes sanctions against schools for noncompliance. Erring private schools shall suffer the penalty of suspension of their permits to operate. Thus, it is interesting to know if the Ateneo has the required policy and if said policy is operational.

Make no mistake, I am angered by what this bully has done. However, I am also concerned that calling for blood may not be the answer. The students involved are all minors, thus, the concern for privacy is real. For me, it is wise to not mention the names of those involved and I agree with the school that indiscriminate sharing of the video should stop.

Firstly, the video may continue to haunt the bullying victim in the future. The internet never sleeps and it is possible that some future acquaintances may taunt and torment the victim, and victimize him all over again. Just the thought of the video’s existence may actually cause trauma and stress to the victim way beyond his high school days. We do not want this to happen.

As far as the bully or bullies go, yes, discipline them strongly. The major bully should no longer be allowed by the school to represent it in Tae Kwon Do competitions. He should be subjected to severe disciplinary actions so he learns that abusing others has serious consequences. However, because he is a minor, I still believe that he should be given the chance to reform himself. He can change and turn into a better person still.

Here, the school and his family should play key roles. Hopefully, his family will not condone his abuses. His parents should learn practicing tough love for the sake of their son. The school, on the other hand, should follow the law and institute procedures and mechanisms to effectively prevent and address bullying. The school has the responsibility to create a safe and secure environment conducive to learning. No one should be abused and violated. Parents and students have the right to demand this of schools.

This bullying incident should wake us all up. We should not tolerate bullying but we must educate our young that abusing others is very wrong and has serious consequences. This way, bullying inside and outside schools, by both the young and the old may be lessened.

How I wish someone in Malacañang has learned this most important lesson.

@bethangsioco on Twitter Elizabeth Angsioco on Facebook