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Philippines
Thursday, March 28, 2024

Self-care

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Self-care"We should remain whole."

 

 

Things are bad for millions of Filipinos. The COVID-19 pandemic and the very long period of quarantine have resulted in a lot of businesses closing down and people losing jobs. Overseas Filipino workers have not been spared and hundreds of thousands have come back home, jobless.

The very long period of isolation due to restrictions in mobility, as well as the dangers of COVID-19 still hovering over our heads, are taking their toll on people’s mental health. I know people who were disoriented when they went out for the first time after eight or so months of staying indoors. I know some who are experiencing panic attacks at night. Many are having difficulties sleeping. A few friends are noticing changes in their behavior and in their temperament.

Connecting with the outside world and people we care about is now mostly done online. I can only imagine how those who live alone are managing this kind of life. While I am grateful that technology can at least help us cope and stay connected, it cannot be a permanent substitute for actual physical presence, handshakes, hugs, and laughter. Online socializing cannot replace being in the presence of people we care about.

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I am no expert in mental health, in fact, I know very little. However, it does not need an expert to know that our present living situation is unhealthy.

The recent devastation brought about by super typhoons Rolly and Ulysses has made things worse. The homes and livelihoods of tens of thousands of families have been destroyed partially or completely. It is a very difficult time made even more difficult by these calamities.

It does not help that many perceive the present administration to be incompetent in addressing people’s welfare. Not a few feel that if they will get out of this situation whole, they should work it out all by themselves because they cannot depend on any support from the government.

However, feeling helpless and hopeless is not an option. We need to take care of ourselves, and for those who can, of others needing help.

Feeling guilty for doing things for ourselves is also not an option. There was a time when indulging in things I like and enjoy at times when things are generally worse for other people made me feel guilty. So I would restrain myself from going out, eating out in pricey restaurants, traveling for leisure, and buying stuff. I considered these as inappropriate.

To begin with, I do not like going out often even in normal times. I am also not very sociable as I only keep a small circle of friends. I only go to events when I need to or have something to accomplish. I only attend parties of close friends. I very rarely travel for leisure and mostly, only with my family.

However, because of the very long quarantine period (that I willingly and strictly followed), I reached a point when I felt the need to go out. My first trip out was to an important meeting because we needed to go through several documents and this would be hard to do online. It was a small meeting of five people and we took all precautions against COVID-19.

My second trip was to an optical shop because I needed another pair of eyeglasses. After another month, I went to a bookstore to get office supplies that I needed. This was followed a few later after to another office supplies shop to get what I was not able to buy from the bookstore. Needless to say, I followed all prescribed protocols and more.

All these were simple errands but they did me good. Perhaps it is more psychological than anything. Being in the outside world during those times felt good.

While physical socializing remains restricted, outside of working from home that I find quite productive and all the online meetings and webinars, I now try to do as many things that I enjoy doing. Sometimes, I consciously get out of social media to maintain my balance. I no longer feel guilty. Instead, I see doing these things as my ways of coping, of self-care.

I rarely see two of my three kids because they are exposed to COVID-19. So when they wanted for the family to get out of Manila and take a road trip to a nearby province, I said yes. Because of work, my children’s lives are quite toxic. Going out as a family for a few days to a safe place (while taking precautions against COVID-19) was good for all of us. It was a time for bonding, something that we missed doing. After a long while, we again had meals together, played board games, did a bonfire, and just laughed and had fun together.

There is no guilt because we understand the need to take care of ourselves and each other. It was time to recharge so we can go back to the life of restrictions we now live and continue to work for others as well.

Self-care is key to survive our situation. We should remain whole. We should do what we need to do for ourselves so we may be able to also to do things for others.

@bethangsioco on Twitter Elizabeth Angsioco on Facebook

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