Let's be ladies about this
The reigning "Mrs. World" has been arrested after pulling the crown off the head of her successor as "Mrs Sri Lanka" at the ceremony in Colombo.
Caroline Jurie yanked the tiara from Pushpika de Silva, claiming she was not fit to wear it.
Dressing room mirrors and the stage set were also smashed up as the beauty pageant turned ugly.
De Silva needed hospital treatment when Jurie laid into her old rival in front of stunned spectators.
Sequins flew as de Silva won, with Jurie and a sidekick invading the stage to declare that she could never be "Mrs Sri Lanka" as she was divorced.
De Silva is estranged from her husband but insisted she is still legally married.
With calls growing for Jurie to be stripped of her "Mrs World" crown, social media has already dubbed her "Mrs Under World."
Thankfully computers are devoid of all such human vanity and malign discriminatory sexism.
Or maybe not.
A near-empty British holiday flight almost didn't get off the ground because its onboard computer calculated the weight of anyone checked in as "Miss" as children.
Pilots averted disaster but later discovered that the Boeing 737's software classified women who called themselves "Ms" as adults whereas Misses were put down as lightweights with some growing up still to do.
Zlatan, we need to talk
Superhuman Swedish footballer Zlatan Ibrahimovic may have finally bitten off more than he can chew.
The 39-year-old AC Milan striker recalled by his country for the Euros, is to make his big screen debut in the next Asterix film.
He will play towering Roman centurion Caius Antivirus.
It's a nod to his cult COVID advert where he claims to have seen off the virus with a Zlatan stare.
"But you are not Zlatan," he deadpans in the Italian ad. "So don't defy the virus, follow the rules..."
Clearly, no one has had the courage to tell Zlatan that Romans don't tend to fare well in Asterix stories.
Our lockdown hero of the week is the brilliant Australian art director David Marriott who had to return to London after his father Harry died of COVID.
Faced with being locked up alone for a fortnight in a Brisbane quarantine hotel on his return from the funeral, Marriott made himself a friend... a trusty steed called Russell.
Marriott fashioned the horse from the brown paper bags his meals were delivered in and the ironing board and desk lamp in his room.
He then made himself a Don Quixote knight's costume, complete with medieval hat and chaps.
His photos of Russell washing his teeth and doing what horses do in the toilet have since gone viral on social media.
"It made my mum laugh," Marriott said. "To see her laughing again made it all worthwhile."
Oops, wrong airport
Spare a thought for the Ethiopian Airlines pilot who landed at the wrong airport in Zambia, touching down 15 kilometers away on a runway that was still being built.
Alarm bells went off at the Simon Mwansa Kapwepwe International Airport in northern Copperbelt province when the pilot told the control tower he was about to land but they could see no sign of a plane.
"We can't see you," they cried.
Too late to turn around, the cargo flight landed at the unfinished strip before the pilot took off again embarrassed but unscathed for the real airport.
No pleasing some people
A lot less shamed-faced was the man who tried to ski around Norway's quarantine rules but found himself having to be rescued from the snow-bound mountains after a storm blew up.
But far from being thankful, the man was unapologetic when found by a reindeer breeder after attempting a 40-kilometer trek from Sweden over difficult terrain.
His mood wasn't helped when rescue services turned him over to the police. He will face the courts after serving out a 10-day hotel quarantine.
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