The Ernie and Michelle Lopez love story (continued from last week)
“I want you for my brother!,” Creative Programs, Inc. Head and ABS-CBN Foundation Executive Director Ernie Lopez fondly recalled what his late sister Gina Lopez, known philanthropist and Bantay Bata founder, told his now wife and G Diaries co-host Michelle Arville on the day the two ladies first met at a hospital.
“Poor Michelle, she would not be able to say no to Gina. Michelle would surely just say yes to her wishes. It would have been funny for me to watch,” Ernie chuckled and described with certainty the kind of relationship his wife and sister would have had as sisters-in-law.
“They would have had a lot of fun. Remember, Gina was the one who first fell in love with Michelle and my whole family did ahead of me,” he added.
This coming May marks Ernie and Michelle’s second wedding anniversary. As shared in my last week’s story, their brief encounter in 2019 has blossomed into a well-executed lockdown proposal and three simple weddings. One of those ceremonies had them wearing sweaters, denim jeans, and sneakers in the United States. Michelle and Ernie made sure their matchmaker Gina was part of the event by placing her photo in a locket attached to the wedding bouquet.
While their relationship looks cool and calm, it is not without challenges. “Soon after we were married, we both got COVID,” Ernie shared and joked about how the “in sickness and in health, ‘til death, do us part” line in their wedding vows was immediately put to test. Michelle also said that while they are newlyweds, it seems like they have already been married for a longer time because of the pandemic.
“The best part of being married to Ernie is that I wake up knowing I have a lifetime partner to share everything with,” she said.
Michelle detailed how she draws strength from her husband and wakes up with God’s purpose. She also added, “I strive to be a better person because he is such a good man, truly kindhearted, and does not have a mean bone in his body.”
“I have to say it hasn’t been perfect but we both learned a lot of lessons from our previous marriages,” Ernie said, sounding realistic yet very positive about his marriage with Michelle.
Their shared interests like watching movies, eating, and showering their families with love glue them together.
“But the biggest and most important shared interest we have is our spiritual values,” Ernie volunteered. He said that he would not have considered Michelle as a girlfriend or a wife if they were not spiritually aligned.
“Ernie and I are total opposites. We just get along well because we make each other happy by discovering new things together, laughing at the simplest of things, and respecting each other’s boundaries,” Michelle enthused. “And lastly, very vital, he accepts my singing voice while I accept his dancing moves!,” she said in jest.
While Ernie raved about his wife’s neatness, intense workout capacity, and superb hosting skills as his discoveries in marriage, Michelle had something else in mind.
“I discovered that Ernie farts 42 times in a day! He tried to hold it when we were just dating but now he says, he is so free to just let it all out,” she laughingly said. Before dropping the bomb, Michelle mentioned how the pandemic made them see through their issues and magnified their differences but what is important is that they work towards a common goal.
It takes someone special to make one feel weak in the knees and Ernie and Michelle seem to have found that person in each other. In their 50s and taking a second chance at love, they sound genuinely excited when talking about each other.
Asked about how his wife brings him the kilig feels, Ernie naughtily answered, “I don’t think I can say it in public.” He laughed and went on to share how his wife gives him the butterflies with the smallest gestures.
At the time of the video interview, Ernie was in Canada spending time with his children. He said, “We’ve been apart for almost two weeks now. Every day, Michelle sends me messages, pictures, or memes. She has the sweetest ones.”
With a wide smile, the doting husband reached for his phone and giddily read messages aloud. One photo message from his wife had the text “Love is” with a male character scratching the back of a female. Ernie clarified the representation, “It’s actually me. I love it when she scratches my back. Even my kids do that. I really feel the love when she does that.”
Trying his best to capture into words how kilig-worthy his wife is, he put it simply, “I’m just pinching myself that someone like Michelle loves me. I’m so grateful because she’s such a kind person. She truly loves me and appreciates me. She allows me to be me. She truly makes me happy. I enjoy spending time with her. The kilig is there every day. Just seeing her smile makes me happy.”
Separately, I asked Michelle the same question. She spilled, “I get kilig when Ernie pours physical affection on me since my love language is exactly that. He always holds my hand, hugs me, and kisses me. Even when we sleep, our feet have to touch each other throughout the night.”
She also added, “Ernie is also a grateful person, so he sees every little thing I do for him even the most mundane like making the bed every morning or putting a fresh roll of toilet paper in the bathroom.”
Ernie and Michelle epitomize the saying that marriage requires effort. This is especially true as they go through the birth pains of being newly married. While Ernie admitted how he is still learning the art of listening when conflicts arise, Michelle said she is working on learning not to walk away but communicate her feelings instead. The use of a thanksgiving journal for processing of thoughts and emotions has been proven effective for Ernie. Meanwhile, the concept of keeping an emotional love bank account for deposits and withdrawals works for both of them. The couple finds practical relationship tips and solutions in a faith-based marriage training seminar called 4 Gifts of Love, facilitated by more experienced husband-and-wife tag teams.
Looking forward to the future, both Ernie and Michelle are excited to travel and practice faith-based parenting. The two have also expressed the desire to help others through their award-winning advocacy show G Diaries (passed on to them by Gina) and 4 Gifts of Love seminar. As Ernie said, with particular enthusiasm in being 4GL facilitators, “I’m excited to see our impact as a couple on other couples. I know that when you help a marriage, you’re helping a whole family. The ripple effect is unimaginable.”
With an inspiring partnership like theirs in marriage and at work, it was inevitable that I seek their advice for singles looking for love. “Both of us had the same prayer, we surrendered everything to God,” Ernie responded. Michelle then shared how she prayed for specific signs from God because she had a hard time hearing His words when doing prayer requests. She talked about the specifics of her granted prayer, “On the fifth day of my Simbang Gabi in 2019, I got my sign. Ernie invited himself to join me.”
“When I met Michelle, I was already separated for about eight or nine years,” Ernie opened up. “During those years, I did not date anyone. I lost confidence in myself in choosing a spouse.”
He shared having set a personal rule of not being alone with a woman when watching a movie, riding a car, or dining at a restaurant during his annulment process.
Ernie shared that Michelle would lovingly tell him how she wishes they have met sooner in life. But for him, the timing was right. “I had so much to learn before I met her. I needed those eight years to heal, change, and grow.”
“My message for singles is be patient. Wait. At the right time, it will happen. It took me eight years,” Ernie said. He candidly shared how his 92-year-old mom is now married for 22 years after remarrying at age 70.
The happily married man ended our interview with a smile and reassurance, “If it’s God’s will for you to have someone in your life, that person will come around when you are ready and when he or she is ready. God is the one who decides.”
For your random thoughts, send an email to the author at kate.adajar@gmail.com